HHI and other thoughts.

Last weekend, my parents and I had a little getaway to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina for a few days. It was much needed, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to go to the beach for a few days. I haven't been to the beach since last summer when I went with a group of friends from high school. I also haven't really been on a family vacation since 2008, so it was nice to spend a few days with just my parents.

This was probably my tenth or so trip to HHI, and every time I go, I just fall in love with that island so much more. HHI is seriously a small island, 12 miles long and 5 miles wide. I live 5 miles from school. I could fit the island in that area---from my house to ASU. Crazy. It's a touristy place for sure. Don't go there if you aren't willing to fight for a parking spot or wait a little while to get a table for dinner at any one of the 250 restaurants on the island. But, I love it.

There are bike trails everywhere you go. I mean everywhere. Out of all the times I've been to the island, I've never once ridden on one of those trails. So, seeing that riding my bike is one of the few exercises I can do right now, I took my bike with me and I rode it everyday. I loved it. If I lived there (my parents seriously consider moving there one day), I would use my bike to commute. So much easier and so much fun.

The town of Hilton Head has done a superb job at preserving the island. Everywhere you go, there are trees. The bike trails are covered with trees. There aren't many (if at all) street lights because sea turtles will come out of the water to the lights, and well, we all know what would happen if a bunch of sea turtles came on the road while cars were passing by. The landscape is beautiful, the buildings are pretty, and the island itself is charming. I just love that island.

I drove down Thursday after class; my parents were already there. On my three hour trek (one that turned into four + some due to road work), I listened to a podcast by David Platt. It's called "Singleness and the Next Generation". Whether you're married or single, go to iTunes right now and listen to it. So good.

I'll admit, I've been struggling a LOT lately with the fact that I'm almost 20, and I've never dated anyone. A few of my good friends have told me to look at this as a blessing and to enjoy this time in my life. And I know that. I know that I should be thankful that I haven't given my heart away to numerous boys and that I'm saving all of myself for that one guy (if the Lord allows). But, I'm a girl, this is the twenty-first century, and it's hard. Really hard.

Platt's message was so encouraging. It was based on 1 Corinthians 7, which is an intense text. Here are a few things he said that really stuck out to me.

"We reflect far more what the world says about marriage than what the Word says about marriage." 
"Singleness portrays the person's ultimate identity in Christ."
"BOTH singleness and marriage are God's gifts."
"Wherever we find ourselves right now, married or single, we have a gift. Delight in where you are. Contentment is deep trust in God's sovereignty."
"Singleness has a purpose that we cannot squander away."

My favorite:

"You are living for an eternal heritage that is not dependent on marriage." 

I fully believe that there are people that God has called to live a single life. I also believe that there are people that God has called to live a married life. No matter what, I'm currently called to live that single life. I'm obviously not married right now, so the ONLY thing I can do, is be content (which is deep trust in God's sovereignty) in where He's got me right now and live my life for the glory of God. Platt has a phrase that he uses over and over again in lots of his sermons. It is, "Everything God does is for our good and His glory." That's the crux of it right there. Everything HE is doing in my life right now is for my good. It's going to benefit me. Whether that means I end up married or not. He gets glorified, and that's the main goal of everything I'm supposed to be doing as a follower of Christ.

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 

Two Years.

Last Thursday marked the two year anniversary of when I first sent my birth dad (BD) an e-mail. Side note: I remember dates really well. Always have. So, I'm the first to make a big deal about things like this even when other people don't. 


I can't believe it's been two years. So much has happened in the past two years that has shown me so much of God's sovereignty and grace. I am beyond thankful that my God saw me in a bad situation, pulled me out, and placed me with two loving and godly parents. If anything, e-mailing, talking on the phone, and meeting my BD has shown me over and over again just how good God is.

There's nothing that can prepare a person for the emotions they'll experience when they meet or talk to their birth parents. Such a surreal situation. I specifically remember sitting in my bed, watching TV, and surfing the internet when my phone buzzed. I picked up my BlackBerry and saw that I had an e-mail. It was from the e-mail address that I had sent to the man whom I thought was my BD. I had asked him if he knew my birth mom (BM) and he said he did.

Then I typed the words I never thought I would.

...you may be my birth father. 


We e-mailed almost every day or every other day for the next month or so, and then we made the decision to talk on the phone. That day I'll never forget either. We talked for about an hour, and it was so surreal and weird.

About three months later, in December, my parents and I traveled to Alabama to meet my BD and his family. Again, nothing can prepare you for that. I paced for a week. I sat in class, day after day, thinking about what it was going to be like when we did meet. Would I hug him? Would I cry? Would I shake his hand? I was so nervous. I had all those crazy butterflies in my stomach, and I was excited and scared all at the same time. After an awkward handshake (yes, I did shake his hand and hug his mom and girlfriend), a dinner where he would catch me staring at him and I would catch my grandma staring at me, our relationship as "biological father and daughter" began to form.

No one will ever take the place of Carter and Robin, the people I call Mom and Dad. But, I'm grateful that God's allowed me to have a weird relationship with my BD.

First time we met. Think we look alike?!? :) 

adios, dear summer.

i'm really sad that summer is over. even though my summer went completely OPPOSITE how i had planned (in more ways than one), i had such a good and memorable summer. i wouldn't say it was my favorite summer (last summer still holds that title), but it was an unforgettable summer. i definitely won't ever forget the summer that i broke my ankle!

classes start on monday, and i'm sort of in denial about that. i still haven't bought my books. partially due to the fact that i think i might pass out when i have to buy them (why are college books SO dadgum expensive?!?). but also due to the fact that i just don't want to go back to school. i'm not thrilled about classes, especially my one 8 a.m. class. i'm looking forward to my education classes, though, so hopefully that will get me through the semester :)

i've been doing a few "projects" around the house lately, and i'm getting into this whole "Do-It-Yourself" type projects that are cheap and fun to do!

this wasn't too complicated of a project (it just involved going to Hobby Lobby...twice).

i just love mason jars, and i got this idea from a blog somewhere. 

in my room at my parents' house, i had TONS of pictures up. 

like all over every single wall. seriously.

i didn't want to crowd all the walls at my house, but my office needed a few more pictures.

so, i bought a few cork boards at Target, and i pinned a few pictures on them. 

love. 

this is my most creative/time-consuming project yet. 

it's a plastic bag holder, and i made it (with a little help from my mom)!

it cost all of $6 for fabric, elastic, and ribbon for my mom and i to both make one. 

i love it, and every time someone comes over, i show it to them :) 

this kid is leaving for Statesboro next week, and both Chelsea and i are pretty sad. 

we're excited for Drew, but we're going to miss our dear friend!

we hung out last night, just the three of us, and i won't forget that night!

thankful for them both!

rooms + sweet/favorite neighbor + macs. 

if you come over to our house, be sure to bring your mac, and we'll have a little party :)

and yes, this is our kitchen floor. 

why, you ask? why not, i say. 

i'm going to the beach NEXT weekend with the family, and i'm thrilled. this body has worn a bathing suit literally FOUR times since the end of last semester. FOUR times. there is something SO wrong with that (it's mainly because of the fact that i broke my ankle and couldn't really relax at the pool or beach with a boot on my foot). so, hopefully i can double that number next weekend. love me some hilton head, and i'm so ready to get out of augusta for a few days! 

my BD is getting married in September in Kentucky, and i'm going to "stand up" at the wedding with my sort-of soon-to-be step-sisters. i have no easy way of explaining what Meghan and Em are to me, but soon they'll be BD's step-daughters. but, i'm excited about seeing the family, going to a new state, and spending 9.5 hours each way in the car with C-Dawg (hopefully). 

i spent some time today going through some Bible studies that i had participated in during my middle school years (i just CAN'T think about school starting!). but, it was a good thing, and it was crazy how some of the things we discussed back then are things that i'm dealing with and struggling with right now. but, i found a quote by my old Bible study leader/mentor, and i'll end with it. it really hit me today, and i love it. 

"Once we see things the way Jesus does, we begin to understand His heart. When we begin to understand His heart, then we will be as motivated as He was." - B. Allen 

Exit 148.

Exit 148 Crawfordville/Sparta on 1-20 in Georgia has always held a special place in my heart. Now, it holds an even more special place.

When I was growing up, Exit 148 was the place where my parents and grandparents would meet to pick me up and take me home or pick me up and take me to my grandparents' house for a visit. It's the halfway point between Augusta and Covington, and I have many a memory from that exit. There's a gas station right off the exit that is sort of sketch. Okay, it's really sketch. That's where we would always meet, and every time whether I was headed to Augusta or Covington, I'd always go to the bathroom at that gas station. We have lots of stories from that gas station. Now, whenever I go to Athens, since that's the exit you have to take to get to Athens, I pass that gas station and smile.

But, I won't be thinking about that gas station as much anymore. Last Saturday, we went to Atlanta for a high school rock climbing/Braves game day. It was quite fun! I was sort of worried about the day, because I couldn't climb rocks because of my ankle, but it turned out to be a really good day. I got to take pictures of everyone climbing, and I enjoyed that a lot. The Braves won (yay!), and it wasn't too hot, so it was an enjoyable time at Turner Field. On our way back, we stopped at Exit 148, drove a few miles down a country road, and got out to look at the stars and spend some legit quiet time with the Lord. The only thing you could see for miles were the stars, and the only thing you could hear were the crickets and bugs and a few cows mooing down the road.

The day had been quite interesting for me. I was still recovering from a cold, so I didn't feel completely up to par, and I was annoyed at having to blow my nose every five minutes (or so it seems). My ankle was bothering me a lot, and at the end of the day it had swelled up really bad. Plus, it was weird being considered a "leader" when I was on a trip with lots of my peers. The students were told to stay in groups of four everywhere that they went, so at one point, when I had to go to the bathroom, I was rallying up my group of four, and Grant looks at me and says, "You're a leader. You can go by yourself." I can?!?!

That's what got me. I've done stuff with middle school all summer, and I feel like a leader when I'm with them. I didn't really feel like a leader with the high schoolers. I was in a weird funk all day because I didn't know where I stood with these kids and ultimately where I stood with the Lord. So, when Grant told us to get out of the van and just spend some time talking to the Lord in the midst of the quiet, open area that we were in, I was grateful for that time. The Lord really affirmed and reaffirmed that He IS doing something big in my life, and that He has a plan for my life. Even though I don't know where I'll be next summer or five years from now, I know that He's got me. As long as I remain confident in Him and only Him, He will do that work in me. It was an excellent way to really "end" such an amazing, unplanned summer that the Lord used to teach me so many, many things.