best friends, hmm...

i like to say i have four best friends. even if i only say it to myself, i believe with all that is in me, that i have four best friends. at least currently. ha. i have learned a lot about these four best friends over this senior year of mine. we have cried together ONE too many times. we have laughed together just about every single day. we have been there in the valleys and on the mountaintops. we have survived almost all of this senior year together. even when we don't hang out one weekend or when one of us isn't there, we don't stop being best friends. through thick and thin, we're there for each other.

the past few weeks, the reality has hit me that in just a few short months, we'll be separated. we won't have classes together, we won't be able to go to lunch together, we won't play just dance on the weekends, we'll barely see each other. when i think about it for too long, i cry. i have four amazing friends that are about to embark on this crazy journey called college without me and i without them. i think it hurts the most because i'm staying home and they are all leaving. i'm staying home because i really feel like the Lord has called me to be here for "such a time as this..." yet, it hurts every little part of me to realize i'm not going to be with my four best friends any more.

i can barely imagine life without them. life without having to tell hannah what class she has next, life without chelsea's bright big smile every day, life without making kissy faces to sarah in brit. lit, life without realizing every day how much mary beth and i are alike. life without them. life without pieces of my heart.

i wonder why God works the way He does, why He puts people in our lives to only then take them away, why He does the things He does for us. i wonder why God allowed me to go through a year like my junior year, where i felt so alone and without friends to bring me to my senior year, where my once called enemies are now my best friends. they are my sisters, in a since. again, God works in mysterious ways. why would He allow me to rekindle old relationships, to make them better, and to then, in just a few short months take these friends of mine away?

i know God has me here for a reason. but, right now, i wish i could go somewhere with my four best friends.