discouraged.

senior year is slowly and quickly coming to an end. i graduate 3 weeks from saturday. it's so surreal.
but, we have a certain ceremony coming up in a week or so. i hate being worried about things like this. i hate feeling like i might get something, setting my expectations for something to happen, and then nothing does. i don't want to expect that i'll get something, but it's something i want and i hate feeling this selfish. i hate working hard and not getting credit, but i know that the Lord has seen my work. i know He will honor it. but, it's hard to sit here, on earth, and watch as others get something that i've worked hard for.

alrighty, Lord, remove this selfish desire from my heart. help me to place this whole situation in your hands and that no matter what happens, you'll get all the glory. help me to trust in You.

  

Don't think God is listening to your prayers? Indeed he is. But he may have higher plans. -Max Lucado

senioritis.

i have two legit weeks of high school left.

WOW.


so surreal.
prom was AMAZING! definitely the best augusta christian prom ever! i had sooo much fun. it was the first formal "event" that i didn't have a meltdown before. which was cool in a way, because it was just another reminder of how much God has changed me this year. i've been able to see Him work in me in so many different ways this whole year and prom was just another one of them. drew picked me up, which by the way, he was a fun date and there was NO awkwardness there at all! another blessing in disguise!!! we went over to another drew's house where like the WHOLE senior class was there to eat dinner and take pictures. it was sooo fun. we went to prom and it was better than i had expected. afterwards, our "group" went back to chelsea's and hung out all night long.  a classic tradition of ours that i'm going to miss a lot!

this week went by relatively quickly! a few of us went to the baseball game on thursday; it was nice to watch the boys beat our rival, westminister. the group went to the musical on friday night. it was hilarious!! probably the best augusta christian musical i've ever been to! we hung out afterwards at brusters. lot's of fun times. on saturday, mary beth and i took our moms to the musical because it was that good. later she, sarah, and i went graduation dress shopping. it really hit me then. we have such little time left together.

i'm ready to get through this week! our skip day is the next week which is going to be a blast!!!! i cannot wait for our mission trip, graduation & getting to see the family, summer camp with church, the beachhhh, and back to alabama! panama is in july, buy i'm really looking forward to it as well.

i'm ready to be done though. this door is slowly but surely closing. i know God will reveal His path to me in time, but it's hard having to wait for it.

it has been just one of those weeks.

you know, those weeks where you feel like you haven't been productive at all? those weeks where you feel like you take three steps forward and 300 steps backward? yeah, that's the sort of week i've had.

i was refreshed after Easter Weekend/Spring Break. i had had some really great family time, as crazy busy as it was. i learned a WHOLE lot about me, where i came from, why i do some of the things i do, etc. plus, i went to the beach with four of the world's greatest friends. (minus one who should've been there! it's ok, though. we still love her!) but, it was a really great ten-ish days or so.

the minute i stepped back in those doors on monday morning, it all came crashing down. it's like Satan was just WAITING to attack me. ughhh. i totally thought i would never get through this week. like, the thing that kills me the most, is that i've been sitting through class after class doing absolutely nothing. most of our teachers have checked out already and almost everyday they say, "study hall okay with y'all? good." i'm sick of being so unproductive. 

prom is tomorrow. i'm really excited! it's going to be a lot of fun :)

oh, and we graduate from high school 5 weeks from tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!

the masters.

seeing Phil Mickelson win his 3rd Masters today was pretty awesome. not because of the fact that Tiger didn't win, which is a major plus :) but when he walked off the green and hugged his wife, who has been battling breast cancer, i got teary eyed. you could see the love he has for his wife is so great. it was awesome to see him win it for her, you just know he did. watching a true man, a true golfer, do this all for his wife and be such a honest man, is what the National is all about. it's not about winning or losing; it's about being a man of integrity, it's about tradition.