the other day was a milestone for me. it had been one year since i first e-mailed my BD. i started thinking about how far he & i have come & how far the Lord has taken me in one single year.
1. my relationship with my BD & his family. if you asked me a year ago, when i was just a few weeks into my senior year, if i thought my BD would come to my high school graduation, i would have slapped you silly. i would have told you that you had lost your mind & that nothing like that could ever happen. if you had asked me a year ago, just a week into my relationship with my BD if i would meet him before the end of the year, i would have slapped you again. the Lord has so GRACIOUSLY given me an opportunity to have a relationship with my BD, his family--my family. i am in awe of all that the Lord has done in that area of my life.
2. my choice of college & intended major. if you had asked me a year ago, where i would be enrolled as a freshman in college, i would have told you Georgia Southern University. there was NO way i would ever stay in Augusta & go to ASU. it wasn't even an option to me. if you had asked me what i planned to do for the rest of my life, i would have told you "become a teacher". that's what i always thought i would do, that was my plan. now, i'm at ASU, looking at staying 2 years, & looking at schools that have good PR programs because i want to be an event planner. was that my plan?? NO. the Lord has shown me what it is HE wants me to do, not me.
3. my senior year. there's no easy way to describe that my senior year went completely different than how i thought it would. there's no way to explain that the friendships i made, i never thought i would make. the only way to explain it is that the Lord blessed me so very much, & senior year was the best year of my life!
4. how i spent my summer. if you had told me a year ago, that i would go to camp as the only senior girl, i would have laughed in your face. if you had said that i would go to hilton head & then to alabama by myself, i would have laughed some more. then, if you had said that i would go to panama, on an awestar mission trip, i would have laughed so hard, that you might think i have a disorder.
i have never been SO blessed in one full year in my whole life. granted, i haven't lived that long, but i wouldn't trade any of this year for the world. i have relationships with family members that i didn't know existed; i have relationships with people that are now my best friends that i thought weren't that special; i have been blessed by a heavenly Father who loves me so very much.
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:4
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
no longer in a comfort zone.
i have never experienced the bond that a community of believers can have until this summer.
the Lord blessed me with a summer that was exceedingly more than I could ever have dreamed or even asked for. i got close to those who i really never thought i would get close with, and i got closer with those who i didn't think i could get closer with.
i was pulled out of my comfort zone in so many different ways this summer. from the beginning, at summer camp, where i was the only senior girl, and i didn't feel close to anyone. i learned so much about love that week, about God's love for us, and how we are supposed to take that love to all the earth. that trip was a lot better than i expected, and the Lord brought people into my life that week that mean the world to me.
i was REALLY pulled out of my comfort zone when i went to Panama. the only Spanish i knew was "hola" and "el bano". i had never been on a straight evangelical mission trip like this; i was used to sharing my faith through service, not through a drama. i don't really do the outdoors that much, therefore, me + a jungle for two days was going to be quite a challenge. that trip showed me a lot about myself, about prayer, and about my personal relationship with the Lord. i was changed from the inside out, and i learned that being out of my comfort zone is really not that bad of a thing.
within the past two weeks, i have said goodbye to a youth group that i was involved with for 6 years, to friends that have been in my life since kindergarten, since sixth grade, since high school, and even friends that i only got close to this summer. i have said goodbye to my comfort zone.
it hit me wednesday night as i drove home from athens. i had gone up for the day to help a friend move in, and i saw two of my other friends that are apart of that comfort zone i just said goodbye to. i had seen their dorms, their homes; it became real to me, they were gone. i cried pretty much the whole way home. i knew that what i was doing was right, and what they were doing was right, but it felt wrong. i didn't want to be separated from my friends; i wanted them to walk with me through this time in my life.
i spent a lot of time praying about the whole situation on thursday. i talked to a friend who knew exactly how i felt, and he gave me some good advice. at one point i told the Lord, "i NEED my friends. why did they have to be taken away from me?" and that's when the Lord said, "you don't NEED your friends. all you NEED is Me."
well, there's no arguing you can really do with that. as i facebook chatted one of my friends last night, we talked about this. i told her that being out of my comfort zone in Augusta is harder than being out of my comfort zone in Panama. she said "yes. while we were in Panama, we were out of our comfort zones, but we were surrounded by our "bubble", by a group of people whom we didn't even realize supported us that much."
i didn't realize how much i relied on these friends. as believers, we aren't called to rely on anyone but the Lord. i'm having to learn to fully rely on the Lord and trust in Him. as basic as it sounds, it is one of the hardest lessons i've ever had to learn.
the Lord blessed me with a summer that was exceedingly more than I could ever have dreamed or even asked for. i got close to those who i really never thought i would get close with, and i got closer with those who i didn't think i could get closer with.
i was pulled out of my comfort zone in so many different ways this summer. from the beginning, at summer camp, where i was the only senior girl, and i didn't feel close to anyone. i learned so much about love that week, about God's love for us, and how we are supposed to take that love to all the earth. that trip was a lot better than i expected, and the Lord brought people into my life that week that mean the world to me.
i was REALLY pulled out of my comfort zone when i went to Panama. the only Spanish i knew was "hola" and "el bano". i had never been on a straight evangelical mission trip like this; i was used to sharing my faith through service, not through a drama. i don't really do the outdoors that much, therefore, me + a jungle for two days was going to be quite a challenge. that trip showed me a lot about myself, about prayer, and about my personal relationship with the Lord. i was changed from the inside out, and i learned that being out of my comfort zone is really not that bad of a thing.
within the past two weeks, i have said goodbye to a youth group that i was involved with for 6 years, to friends that have been in my life since kindergarten, since sixth grade, since high school, and even friends that i only got close to this summer. i have said goodbye to my comfort zone.
it hit me wednesday night as i drove home from athens. i had gone up for the day to help a friend move in, and i saw two of my other friends that are apart of that comfort zone i just said goodbye to. i had seen their dorms, their homes; it became real to me, they were gone. i cried pretty much the whole way home. i knew that what i was doing was right, and what they were doing was right, but it felt wrong. i didn't want to be separated from my friends; i wanted them to walk with me through this time in my life.
i spent a lot of time praying about the whole situation on thursday. i talked to a friend who knew exactly how i felt, and he gave me some good advice. at one point i told the Lord, "i NEED my friends. why did they have to be taken away from me?" and that's when the Lord said, "you don't NEED your friends. all you NEED is Me."
well, there's no arguing you can really do with that. as i facebook chatted one of my friends last night, we talked about this. i told her that being out of my comfort zone in Augusta is harder than being out of my comfort zone in Panama. she said "yes. while we were in Panama, we were out of our comfort zones, but we were surrounded by our "bubble", by a group of people whom we didn't even realize supported us that much."
i didn't realize how much i relied on these friends. as believers, we aren't called to rely on anyone but the Lord. i'm having to learn to fully rely on the Lord and trust in Him. as basic as it sounds, it is one of the hardest lessons i've ever had to learn.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
stepping into the land of the unknown.
these days, i feel a lot like the 12 spies that went into the land of Canaan to see what it was like. they were stepping into the land of the unknown.
and today, i've done that. in more ways than one.
the biggest was getting my Mac today. yeah, i'm PRETTY EXCITED! my dad had told me a while back that he would let me get one once i started college, so i'm starting college next week and now i have one :)
tonight, i sat at home and ate dinner with my parents. not that by doing that is legitimately "stepping into the land of the unknown" but by doing that, i'm doing something i haven't done in over two years. as i ate dinner, i thought about it, and i realized that this is what my life is going to be like during the next year, and maybe even the next two years. as much as i love my parents, i feel like i'm taking a step backward instead of forward.
i said goodbye to one of my very best friends in the entire world, Hannah. we've known each other since kindergarten. and as much as Hannah needs me, i need her even more. i don't know what it feels like to go to school without Hannah there. i'm so excited for her, but i'm going to miss her a TON.
i skyped with my Sweet Caroline today for over three hours. yeah, we had LOTS to catch up on even though she's only been gone for 5 days. i've never skyped for that long, and i guess i know that it is something i may be doing later on lots more!
after i got off with Caroline, i skyped with my friend, Corey, for a while. he showed me his dorm, via skype, and it got me thinking..."am i really doing the right thing? what am i going to miss out on?" but, i know that staying in Augusta is what the Lord wants me to do. as hard as it is to grasp or understand.
i'm going to Athens tomorrow to help a friend move in. it'll be my first time in Dawg Country :) another unknown. i'm pretty excited. i'll get to see friends, say my official "goodbyes", and enjoy a day away from Augusta.
i'm nervous and anxious to be stepping into these unknowns. i'm grateful for this time. i'm really ready to see where the Lord takes me next....into a great, big unknown.
and today, i've done that. in more ways than one.
the biggest was getting my Mac today. yeah, i'm PRETTY EXCITED! my dad had told me a while back that he would let me get one once i started college, so i'm starting college next week and now i have one :)
tonight, i sat at home and ate dinner with my parents. not that by doing that is legitimately "stepping into the land of the unknown" but by doing that, i'm doing something i haven't done in over two years. as i ate dinner, i thought about it, and i realized that this is what my life is going to be like during the next year, and maybe even the next two years. as much as i love my parents, i feel like i'm taking a step backward instead of forward.
i said goodbye to one of my very best friends in the entire world, Hannah. we've known each other since kindergarten. and as much as Hannah needs me, i need her even more. i don't know what it feels like to go to school without Hannah there. i'm so excited for her, but i'm going to miss her a TON.
i skyped with my Sweet Caroline today for over three hours. yeah, we had LOTS to catch up on even though she's only been gone for 5 days. i've never skyped for that long, and i guess i know that it is something i may be doing later on lots more!
after i got off with Caroline, i skyped with my friend, Corey, for a while. he showed me his dorm, via skype, and it got me thinking..."am i really doing the right thing? what am i going to miss out on?" but, i know that staying in Augusta is what the Lord wants me to do. as hard as it is to grasp or understand.
i'm going to Athens tomorrow to help a friend move in. it'll be my first time in Dawg Country :) another unknown. i'm pretty excited. i'll get to see friends, say my official "goodbyes", and enjoy a day away from Augusta.
i'm nervous and anxious to be stepping into these unknowns. i'm grateful for this time. i'm really ready to see where the Lord takes me next....into a great, big unknown.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
goodbyes.
so in the past week, i have had to say goodbye to three sweet friends, and this week, it gets even worse.
last sunday, i said goodbye to my friend Mollie Kate; she's a sophomore at UGA, and she was one of the interns this summer at church. we became super close. i may get to see her this wednesday, but still, i miss her a lot. going from seeing her every day to not at all was hard. it is hard.
last thursday, we all said goodbye to our friend from Panama (which, btw, i'll blog about that later). He was going back to Florida, where his sister lives. even though he was just in town for a week, it's very weird without him here. the Holy Spirit shines through him greatly; he smiles ALL the time and is the most joyful person i know.
the next day, i said goodbye to my "Sweet Caroline" who was going off to her dream school, Auburn. (War Eagle!) Caroline has been a constant companion since the sixth grade. I drove by her house the next day and not seeing her car almost made me bawl. I'm SO happy for her and what the Lord is going to do through her, but I miss her SO much!
this week, i have a few more goodbyes...people I've become better friends with only recently, people I've know since K5, high school friends, etc. sometimes I wonder why the Lord brings people into my life to just then take them away soon after they've entered. i still don't have an answer for that, but i'm so grateful for all of these sweet friends of mine and as i say goodbye, all i can do is "Trust in the Lord with all my heart..." (Proverbs 3:5)
last sunday, i said goodbye to my friend Mollie Kate; she's a sophomore at UGA, and she was one of the interns this summer at church. we became super close. i may get to see her this wednesday, but still, i miss her a lot. going from seeing her every day to not at all was hard. it is hard.
last thursday, we all said goodbye to our friend from Panama (which, btw, i'll blog about that later). He was going back to Florida, where his sister lives. even though he was just in town for a week, it's very weird without him here. the Holy Spirit shines through him greatly; he smiles ALL the time and is the most joyful person i know.
the next day, i said goodbye to my "Sweet Caroline" who was going off to her dream school, Auburn. (War Eagle!) Caroline has been a constant companion since the sixth grade. I drove by her house the next day and not seeing her car almost made me bawl. I'm SO happy for her and what the Lord is going to do through her, but I miss her SO much!
this week, i have a few more goodbyes...people I've become better friends with only recently, people I've know since K5, high school friends, etc. sometimes I wonder why the Lord brings people into my life to just then take them away soon after they've entered. i still don't have an answer for that, but i'm so grateful for all of these sweet friends of mine and as i say goodbye, all i can do is "Trust in the Lord with all my heart..." (Proverbs 3:5)
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