On Father's Day, I had the sweet opportunity to take my BD out to dinner. The best week for me to go to AL was during the weekend of Father's Day. I had talked with my Dad many of times to make sure that this was okay with him, that I would be missing Father's Day and would be with my BD. He was super cool with it. We celebrated Father's Day about a week early.
Anyway, the two of us met at an Olive Garden in AL. It was the same Olive Garden that he and I had first met at, so I was trying to make the experience a tad less awkward. I got there before he did, went ahead and got a table, and waited. Then I waited some more. I guess I probably waited all of about ten minutes, maybe twelve at the most. I was really worried. I thought he wasn't going to show, that I was going to just sit there for a really long time being that person who gets stood up.
Then, I heard "That's her." It was him, his voice. He was really here. He hugged me as best as he could with me sitting in a booth and then sat down across from me. I could tell he was happy; he had one of those huge smiles on his face. I knew he was glad that I was here.
We had this really nice dinner. We talked and laughed, ate and talked some more. It went really well. I gave him his Father's Day gift, which was this funny card and a visor, something I knew he would like. He read the card and I knew he was happy that I had done that.
It was a sweet start to an overall sweet week.
A few days later we were with the whole family out at this hands-on museum thing. That day, I got in one of my "Ashton Moods". I tend to do this thing where I will have an attitude about something, about something that isn't going my way. I get this way and everyone knows something's wrong. I get quiet, I say that everything is "fine", and I make the day miserable for everyone else. I knew I was doing this and I couldn't stop. I texted my best friend, Chelsea, and said basically, "I need a slap in the face. Help me out, best friend!" She called me half an hour later and I vented. I just got everything out. Ultimately, it was hard for me to have to share my BD with other people. I had never seen him with other "kids" and it was hard.
My BD has a girlfriend who has two daughters. I had never met her daughters until this past week. His girlfriend is one of the sweetest and nicest people I have ever met in all my life. Her daughters are both two very sweet girls, as well! She has a daughter a year younger than me whom I adore! She is very dear to me and I know that no matter what, she'll be a friend for life. The youngest daughter is still just a little girl. She's in the "pre-teen" phase of life. She's super cute and fun. But it was so hard for me to see my BD interact with her. When my BD interacted with the older daughter, it was nothing different than when he interacted with me. If anything, he definitely knew me better than her. But he knew the younger daughter in a better way than he knew either of us. It hurt.
I felt completely stupid and embarrassed that I was jealous of a 10 year old. They knew each other well; he had a nickname for her; she was always happy and sweet around him. They had this connection. When I talked to Chelsea, she understood. I talked later to the older daughter, and in this cool, weird way, she understood, too. But the thing that got me the most was that the older daughter has a really bad relationship with her dad. Yet she understood that I wanted to have a good relationship with both of my dads. When I realized that, that was the slap in the face I needed.
I remembered the sweet dinner my BD and I had shared together on Sunday, all of the jokes that we were able to make, the "inside" things that only he and I got. The things that made our relationship different and special. I told him why I acted the way I did the day at the hands-on museum. I told him that I was ultimately jealous of this sweet little 10 year old. He said, "Well, Ashton, she's not my daughter." Then just gave me this look that said "Stop worrying. This is me and you, not me and her."
I never thought that I would have relationships with both of my dads. And I don't think I'll ever act upset when it's not going my way with one of them again. Because I'm blessed to have both of them; some people don't even have one.
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